Tough Choices

a few years ago, as a church staff, we read Carly Fiorina‘s book, Tough Choices. this morning i was reminded of the themes she touches on in this memoir, and it is still so challenging and helpful. it was fun to pick it up and flip through the book today.

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here’s a few (of many) quotes i had underlined back when i read it the first time:

There are some people who would argue that a manager’s job is to use fear to motivate people, but I believe a leader’s job is to help people overcome their fear.

 

Never threaten if you’re not prepared to follow through. Never threaten if reason can prevail, but if you must, threaten something that really matters and stick to it.

 

Once change is advanced, retreat is fatal. Sometimes you just have to burn the boats.

 

A leader’s job is to set the frame so that the people a leader serves can do the right jobs in the right way to the best of their abilities. A leader’s job is to build lasting capability into the organization he or she serves.

 

There is always something to laugh about, even in the most difficult of times. It’s especially important to find the humor in the tough times because laughter helps people manage stress.

 

Responsible directors and reasonable people do not reverse in a few days a decision that has taken nine months to reach.

 

Values are signposts to guide people’s behavior when the rules aren’t clear and the supervisor isn’t present.

 

Not everything is easy, and not everything happens right away. Not everything happens exactly as you think it will, but when people work together, focused on a common goal and inspired by a worthy purpose, then truly everything is possible.

Get the book for yourself here!

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Dinner Table Game: Good Choice, Bad Choice

yesterday i talked about how we’re trying to make dinner a meaningful point of connection for our family. with little kids that leak everywhere and spill almost everything, it’s easy to find our focus during the entire meal zeroed in on keeping every kid in their seat and every piece of food heading in the right direction.
so how do we make it meaningful?
here’s something we’ve been trying lately that’s been working for us:
kids love games. so we made one up.
(really, it’s just 2 questions that we all ask each other… but since we called it a game, that’s what adelina thinks it is.)
the rules of this “game” are quite simple:
  1. everyone has to answer.
  2. and everyone has to be honest.

when it’s your turn, you have to share one BAD choice you made that day, and then you have to share one GOOD choice you made that day.

 

shanna has been really great about helping our kids focus on choices as either good or bad. we’ve been trying to avoid referring to people and ourselves as good or bad (the theological component of that will come later when they’re older), but rather, as people who either made a good choice or a bad choice, at a point in time.
on top of that, it’s important for our kids to see that we as parents blow it too from time to time. every day actually. and there is something powerful in the faith development of children and teens when they know they’re being led by people who are real and transparent about their shortcomings.

let’s face it… we all know they know we’re not perfect. and us telling them isn’t giving them license to do it, if it’s framed and explained in the right way.

these 2 simple questions have given us many great in-roads to celebrating and praising good behavior, as well as conversations (without being in the heat of the moment) where we can explain why certain behaviors are bad and not something we want to continue. some nights, apologies are given and moods are turned completely around.
what do you do around your table to make the conversation meaningful? i’d love to hear what’s working for you in the comments!