i’ve been silent too long.
i’ve had a lot to say but i’ve been waiting for the perfect words. i’ve drafted the posts, reworked the wording again and again and again and again. and then i’ve deleted those posts time and time again before tapping “send”.
there’s a lot of reasons for that, but i’m coming to realize they’re all pretty much rooted in pride and selfishness.
i don’t want to be polarized. i don’t want to be misunderstood. i don’t want people to get the wrong idea. i don’t want them to think bad of me. i don’t want to be disliked and rejected.
and it seems that anything that is said these days within the race conversation does all of that and more, the minute you start engaging.
but no more.
the legitimate hurt facing my friends and brothers and sisters in the black community is grievous to me. and what i now realize is that my silence has actually been speaking for me. my silence has put me in a camp. and it’s not the camp i want to be in.
like at the republican national convention last night.
trump walked out to queen’s song (without permission), giving the perception that the band was part of team trump.
not so, and they were (rightfully) pissed.
by simply doing nothing and saying nothing, i have said something.
and i’m no longer ok with that.
to those in the black community who are hurting and grieving right now, i want you to know that i am hurting and grieving with you. i want you to know that i recognize that you live with a reality i personally have never had to face in my lifetime. and i want you to know that you do not stand alone right now.
i want you to know that i do not believe we need to just get back to normal, as one politician recently said. normal got us to where we are today. we need to create and carve out and slug out a new normal.
a new normal that gets us all honest about prejudice and preference.
a new normal that attacks and dismantles the implicit racial bias we all experience, whether we know it or not.
a new normal that allows us the freedom to converse without being polarized.
a new normal that somehow brings us to true equality and freedom, the mutual respect and dignity that all humans have been given by their creator.
a new normal that genuinely celebrates and embraces the many different cultures within our communities.
i’m sorry for the silence.