a perfect balance between work and family: the ideal we’re all longing to someday experience, while secretly questioning if it’s even attainable. some say it’s a myth… and, while i’m not sure i’d go that far yet, i do think we at least have a goal to shoot for.
here are 4 thoughts on balancing work and family that i hope can add value to the discussion.
1. we have an opportunity to lead up here.
balancing work and family is generally not something senior leaders are great at. they’re fantastic at setting the bar in so many other areas, but this is usually not one of the strong ones. if you’re in any role in your organization other than the top dog, this is likely one of your best opportunities to lead up and set the example. over the course of time, as your colleagues become more fatigued and burnt out, you’ll seem refreshed and renewed on a continual basis. the change will be evident, and your influence will be noticed.
2. busyness doesn’t mean success; busyness means brokenness.
why are our to do lists always so full? why do we always have to bring our kids 4 different places in the same night? why do we rarely eat dinner together at the table anymore? why do we have to make that presentation not just adequate, but over the top? why do we feel we can’t leave the office when we promised we would? why can we not give ourselves a day off from the gym every now and then?
when we honestly dig into these questions, i think what we end up uncovering is often pretty dark. it’s incredible how much insecurity drives our behaviors and actions. we try to prove our value and worth by our achievements and accomplishments.
this is brokenness.
the nice thing about brokenness, though, is that someone else came to fix it. jesus came to give us worth and value. we don’t have to keep trying to earn it.
3. God calls those who won’t work “lazy”, but those who won’t rest “disobedient“.
how soon we forget that the sabbath (a 24 hour period of intentional rest, every 7 days) was one of the 10 commandments. it seems pretty significant to be included in God’s top 10 list. if you think of it, there’s a lot of details to consider when putting up parameters on human interaction, and yet God made sure this was one of them.
if we truly observed this ancient practice of sabbath, i think this discussion on balance wouldn’t come up quite so much.
4. it takes strong accountability to keep a temporary season from becoming a permanent situation.
we all have busy seasons where our engines have to hit some higher rpm’s than normal. the problem comes when the season turns into something longer. do we have people who regularly hold us accountable as we try to phase out of a series of red-lining weeks?
the perfect balance between work and family may not ever be truly found and perfectly sustained, but we can move towards it and stay closer in it with some intentionality.
what else would you add to this list?
Perry Noble had all the markings of success—one of the largest and fastest growing churches in America and a great family—but as his inner world crumbled, he ending up feeling like he wanted to kill himself.
He tells an amazing story of how he overcame anxiety and depression to keep leading.
the above was taken from carey nieuwhof’s blog as he introduced an interview he ran on his brand new podcast. shanna and i listened to this together the other night and it gripped us from start to finish. i actually had a stack of copies of the mp3 burned onto cd’s and am giving them out to everyone around me.
if you’re a pastor, you’re gonna wanna hear this.
you might not be struggling with depression right now, but your day is probably coming. don’t let your pride fool you into thinking you’re invincible.
here’s some quotes from the interview I pulled from carey’s blog:
“People in the church will praise you for working yourself to death…until you’re in your coffin.”
“Leaders develop really unhealthy patterns and we call it leadership.”
“I wanted God to deliver me from depression. Instead, he delivered me through it.”
it certainly has been a while!
1. our little man
the transition from a family of 3 to a family of 4 has been a little more intense than we thought. mini-coop (cooper) is now almost 9 months old and so much fun to be around. we are fortunate beyond comprehension to be able to parent him, and wouldn’t trade it for the world. his laugh is contagious when he really gets going. here’s some pics…
2. job transition
right now i have one foot in student ministry at my church and one foot in adult ministry. i have been leading the search for lakeshore’s next youth pastor for a while now, and the plan is to have him in place before i fully transition to discipleship pastor. it has been a tiring process, but one filled with many God-moments and growth steps (for me and for the church).
3. small groups launch
the “one foot in adult ministry” is all related to small groups, and we’ve been working hard to get everything launched for this ministry year. i am beyond excited about the 34 new groups that have launched within the last few weeks, and the ones getting ready to launch later in the year. the leaders of each are top notch and committed to doing life with their group for the next year. if you have yet to join a group, you should check it out!